“There is no pain in change, only in the resistance to change.” Something I learned from my dad, many years ago. My life today is all about change. My wife and I are trying to work towards establishing some routine, particularly when the kids are concerned. But our lives are still a work in progress.
As I work to complete the JnP(Journey in Principles) meditations, I’m attempting to develop a healthy habit of consistently working towards this goal. But while we are both developing our routines, we are both having to learn to fluctuate and bend with unforeseen events that come up. Whether its changes in my schedule, do to my current job. Or my wife taking on new responsibilities helping other busy parents with their kids or taking on a new temp job to help someone out. Or, the ever-changing dynamics of raising three wonderfully creative, ornery and sometimes downright argumentative little kids.
Part of my current day-to-day aim is to help get the kids in bed, lunches made for the next day and coffee set for in the morning and still be able to go to bed myself by 11 pm. Of course, I’m still working on fitting my journalling into this daily routine as well. And though we still fall short, most nights, of getting to bed before midnight. We’re both learning to recognize the improvement. There was a time when we were doing good to be in bed by 2 am.
This leads me to the old lesson, “There is no pain in change, only in the resistance to change.” It is resisting change in our lives that leads us to a feeling of failure or of unmanageability. In 12 Step programs, the first step tells us to admit our powerlessness. We are to admit our powerlessness over whatever the prevalent obsession and/or compulsion that is that particular fellowship’s focus. But, That admission, at its core, is about the powerlessness of change.
Change happens, we can be an active part of our change, or we can resist it. When we resist it, things tend to get unmanageable, and we tend to experience pain in our lives. But, when we see how we’re afraid of it or how our lives are unmanageable without it, we begin to acknowledge the change. We can share that fear, the pain we feel from the overwhelm of events we have no control over. When we do this, we gain the Hope we need to allow the change and whatever outcome it brings us.
When we share our powerlessness over what ‘might happen,’ we gain the ability to actively be a part of the change that is happening and live with it, not against it. We can recognize what part we are trying to force or control and look to see if we are moving with change or against change.
“Always Aspire to inspire, before we expire!”