What we measure we grow.
What that means is, How we end today will define how we start tomorrow, Click To Tweet
My nightly routine is fundamental but consistent. At the end of the night, I sit down, I grab my journal, and I write, and I answer three basic questions:
- What went right?
- What didn’t go right?
- What am I most grateful for today?
I have to remember the routines that it takes for me to stay clean on a regular basis.
As we begin to learn to inventory our lives, we find the routines that we never knew we had that fed our addictions, our depressions, our anxieties. We see that during those moments, we were on autopilot. As we focused on our depression, our depression deepened. As soon as we become consumed by our anxiety or the hunger to feel different, our compulsions and obsessions grow.
Those of us in 12 step programs have heard many times – we lived to use and use to live. We can learn how to live to recover and recover to live. If we are focused on not relapsing, eventually we usually relapse, because that’s what we’re feeding. If we focus on not getting depressed, we find ourselves beginning to feel that inclosed feeling almost as instantly.
What we measure, grows.
When we learn to focus on recovery, we don’t have to worry about the relapse. Instead of avoiding the overwhelming fear that causes our anxiety, we turn our attention to any form of personal growth or achievement. It doesn’t even have to have any attachment to our depression or anxiety. Any focus to any self-improvement will feed our spirit and starve our demons.
The whole motivation for starting this blog was to help track, measure and maintain my learning to live life on life’s terms with a new set of tools that have existed long before any 12 Step Program. To continue defining and developing an understanding of living that separates me from the internal conflicts of my obsessions and depression.
These are the 12 primary spiritual principles I measure.
We begin to live by such spiritual principles as hope, surrender, acceptance, honesty, open-mindedness, willingness, faith, tolerance, patience, humility, unconditional love, selfless service.
How do I measure my life each day?
Every Monday when I go to my office, I do a brain dump. I inventory everything in my head of everything that I need to do that week, whether work related, club related, personal related or recovery related. Then I go through, and I’ll put Monday through the weekend, and as every morning comes up, when I get to my office, I pick three to four of those things, and I write them down – I try to select at least one out of each category as far as work, personal, club, recovery, etc,. At the end of the night, I do my journal, what went right today, what didn’t, and what was I most grateful for.
If we never go back to basics, if we never get away from basics.
On top of that, I keep with the basics. I still talk to the Devine Consciousness (my understanding of God or Higher Power) on a regular basis. Do I hit my knees every morning? No. Most often I do my talking while I’m driving. Before starting whichever audiobook or podcast I’m currently listening to. If you’re around me enough, I’m told I sometimes sound like the “Mad Irishman” off of the movie Braveheart. I don’t have the relationship that most people have with their Higher Power. My connection is very personal, very different and has not changed much since I was 16 years old.
I also intentionally talk with others who are on similar paths. On a daily basis, I connect to someone who is some form of recovery, whether its addiction or depression. Now there are times where I’m not good at picking up the phone.
Anyone who knows me knows I’m not the easiest one to get ahold of by phone. Just because my phone rings or I get a notification, it doesn’t mean that I drop everything I’m doing and answer the phone, (unless it’s my wife). I will finish what I’m doing. If you need to talk to me, you better leave me a message or text me and say, “Hey, I need to talk.” Then I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Otherwise, if you’re talking just to BS, chances are I’m not going to answer the phone. My life is too full, and I don’t regret it.
I’m intentional in my life.
I fight at least two or three times a week, but now I do it in a controlled setting up at the Dojo, and I love it. – I can not praise martial arts enough for what it has done for my family and me – The actions I take today are very intentional. That’s my point, I’m intentional in my day, to the best of my ability. When I look back at the mindless way, I use to live and measure it to the intentional way I live today. Even my downswings become livable.
I’m not here to take; I’m here to give.
I lived enough of my disease, stealing from life, taking from others. Today I want to live a life of giving, giving more at work, giving with the club, giving at home with three active kids.
When I finally realized how focused I was on what I could take. When I began this Journey in living a Principle-based life, my life began to change. My life became about giving back. That’s how I keep to the basics. That’s the actions I take is to give, and I do my best to be where my feet are. In the present, with intention. There is no fear in the present. There’s no regret in the present. If I can be right here, right now in this moment, I have no fear, and I have no regret.
“Always aspire to inspire, before we expire.”