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Self-Centeredness Kept me Sick

As a recovering addict, one realization I had to come to terms with early on was that self-centeredness was at the core of my addiction.

Being ultimately concerned with ‘fixing myself.’ Taking care of my inexhaustible hunger for more, not realizing how my addictive behavior affected everyone around me. I became sick without realizing I was sick.

It wasn’t until I became aware of how my self-centeredness had made my relations with others sick. How I brought harm and turmoil to those, I came into contact with, especially those closest to me, that I became able to see just how sick I had gotten.

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Diversity is needed but it’s not new.

In today’s climate, the words diversity and inclusion are quickly becoming commonplace. Today’s prominent companies are actively seeking diversity in the workplace. 

Applying Tradition One to everyday life. Our common Welfare first.

12 Step recovery fellowships have been implementing a path to awareness, acceptance, and action towards a diverse culture for decades. Along with the 12 Steps, there are the not so popular 12 Traditions. But without them, none of the 12 Step Programs would be around what they are today.

The Traditions are the active part of “applying principles in All of our affairs.”

They protect the members, groups, and entire fellowship from both outside strifes, and more importantly, the internal conflict of the member’s egos, biases, and insecurities.

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More about Faith, Less about Trust.

Faith is spiritual, trust is not.

I was very young when I first found a 12 step recovery, and I didn’t drive for a long time. I relied on members to get me to and from meetings. And many a time I’d be sitting outside of the apartment complex waiting on someone to pick me up and they’d be running 30, 40 min, or even an hour late. I used to get so pissed off, and after a while, I started realizing that there are times when shit happens, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

I learn to have faith in one’s ability.

I learned to have faith in someone’s ability to pick me up when they say they’re going to pick me up. That has nothing to do with trust. That’s why I do not see trust as a spiritual principle. Faith is. Suppose I put trust in you being where you say you’ll be, and then you don’t show up, guess what? You’ve broken my “trust.” It’s fallible. But if I have faith that you had every intention and had every ability to show up when you say you’re going to show up, but then something happens. For whatever reason, you don’t show up on time. Maybe you get sick, have an accident, have a flat tire, or your car breaks down. I still have absolute faith that you were capable of.

My faith remains intact.

I still have complete faith that you capable of doing what you said. Even if you simply overslept, you still had the ability. I can put my faith in you, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do to break that faith. When I put that spiritual principle unconditionally in you, that has to do with seeing your capacity, what you’re capable of, and it has no bearing on what you do.

Every morning I meditate, every evening I inventory.

These principles and each one of these steps is meant to be worked and applied daily. My foundation today is the 12 Essential Spiritual Principles, I’ve learned to regularly turn to, to the best of my ability. I am not perfect by any means. You want to see me lose principles and lose my serenity, ride with me in a cage (bikers term for a car), Especially during rush hour traffic in Dallas. For that reason, I put the little JnP logo on the back of my car. So when I see it through my rearview mirror, it reminds me to stay on the journey in principle. It helps me be a calmer driver. At least in theory.

That’s the real foundation of my faith today. 

It is remembering to continuously show up at least enough to continue giving what I got. Otherwise, I’ll lose it. I’ve lost everything once before. I don’t want to fall short again. I’m not saying you should give so much that you end up enabling those who do nothing. I believe in equal responsibility in being self-supporting. Even when I can’t give in one way, there is always a way to “do my part.” I just have to maintain my faith in my own capabilities as well as yours.

I lost my Humility and clean time to my Ego.

Someone posted on Facebook the other day this question, “what were you known for, in high school?” I very rarely answer any of this kind of crap on Facebook. I don’t do the chain stuff. But, I answered this one. The reason why was probably a little ego-driven. Because what was I known for was long hair and 12 step recovery.

It was in high school when I first got put into the hospital for my addiction. 

When I first got out of treatment and went back to high school. There was A youth recovery group called R.A.F.T. Right Alternatives For Teens. R.A.F.T. was a support group in my local school district. The founder of the group, an art teacher, quickly approached me about joining R.A.F.T.

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